Public Transit Ups and Downs
In the last three weeks I've ridden the bus more often than I ever did in Ottawa. I think in 4 years in Ottawa I rode the bus exactly twice. Once was to a friend's party on Bronson because I was too cheap to get a cap (it took forever on the bus!) and another time was home from Banks St one Saturday morning.
But now I have the privilege of riding the transit system at least twice a day. It's actually not that bad. There are lots of parts of it I enjoy. For one thing, it's this window into other people's lives. You hear lots of interesting conversations. Like this one, heard this Tuesday.
Girl 1: I heard there were lots of problems last year at the Grade 8 to 12 dance.
Girl 2: That's because the Grade 8s were skanky and the Grade 12s were horny.
Or this:
Girl 1: [Speaking Chinese] first degree murder! [Speaking Chinese]
Girl 2: [Speaking Chinese]
Girl 1: Yeah! Twenty years to life!
I quite enjoy eavesdropping onto people's lives for the half hour or so I'm riding. But unfortunately there are lots of drawbacks on public transit too. Like, I don't know how I missed this, but there are lots of really gross people in the world. Guys trade gum with their girlfriends. To me that's just a little sicko. Think about it, would you want a chewed up piece of meat that someone else, even someone you loved, had just spit out? Gum's no different - it's saturated with saliva and digestive enzymes. Besides, it would be devoid of any flavour by the time it makes it to the second mouth anyway.
Also people cough a lot. I was sitting across from this guy who cleared his through about 18 times a minutes.
But the absolute worst was the teenage boy who sat next to me and kept putting his hands to his nostrils and sniffing in a most liquid kind of way. He sniffed, I kept count, about every four seconds. Try to imagine how annoying that would be. Just practice sniffing every four seconds for a minute or two and you'll probably even annoy yourself. Since he was beside me for at least 10 minutes, that's about 2400 sniffs (--okay, more like 150, but it felt like 2400). I had to get off the bus a stop early and be careful not to brush up against him or any of the railings he had touched, lest I get his evil SARS virus.
Comments
Was it 18 times a minute (every 3.33 seconds) or every 4 seconds (15 times a minute)? Either way, 2400 sniffs in ten minutes would be 240 sniffs a minute, or 4 a second. So it probably wasn't that bad...
That said, you'll soon reach the point where you're sighing audibly and casting filthy glances at such people. I see a guy on the train platform regularly who sits and does that snorting-sucking thing every few minutes, and it's all I can do not to rip his book away and push him onto the tracks while screaming crazed rhetorical questions about his upbringing.
Posted by: Tony | September 24, 2004 01:06 PM
Dude, i feel your pain. I take the bus twice a week. It is definitely a window into people's lives alright! Last week, I saw this big fat guy stuff his butt onto a bench in the middle of 2 people. The space was so tight that he had to lean forward with his arms in the air. Finally he decided that the best way to keep his arms out of the way was to put his arm around the lady beside him. She, of course, started to lean forward away from the offending arm and fixed her eyes straight forward on the window across the aisle. Unfortunately, her husband (who was sitting on the other side of her) was not as obliging as his wife. It was nuts. Rudeness and male bravado at its best! It's the most drama that I have ever seen before 7am. Lucky for me, I had the best seat in the house on the bench across from them and a coffee to sip as the events unfolded. Who ever said Ottawa was a boring town!?
Posted by: Sara | September 27, 2004 07:36 AM